tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9182789916721333799.post5223481026070380448..comments2023-10-26T06:04:28.540-07:00Comments on unHAPPILY MARRIED: Am I A Punk?MOMSWEBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03425350066254996873noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9182789916721333799.post-74895054233231976322011-01-07T12:44:50.759-08:002011-01-07T12:44:50.759-08:00Hey LaVender! Are you happy or not?
Are you marrie...Hey LaVender! Are you happy or not?<br />Are you married or what? How do you snap in silence?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9182789916721333799.post-41247397317372838102011-01-04T03:33:51.332-08:002011-01-04T03:33:51.332-08:00AzraeL,
I think you answered your question in you...AzraeL,<br /><br />I think you answered your question in your last sentence. The only thing you owe someone you aren't married to is mutual respect. Marriage takes on a whole new face and meaning of relationships. In marriage you become one. Living together, you're playing house and there are no ties of commitment - there were no vows made to each other. <br /><br />My husband and I lived together for a couple of years until I didn't feel comfortable 'shacking up'. It's hard to explain, but when we married, we both changed - our mindsets changed...BECAUSE we were legally married. <br /><br />You've put a lot into your relationship and I wouldn't call you a punk, yet I can see how you must feel your kindness and love has been taken advantage of.<br />You know what your gut is telling you to do, so listen to your inner self. Both of you may benefit.MOMSWEBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03425350066254996873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9182789916721333799.post-39226086444607666372011-01-01T20:33:41.235-08:002011-01-01T20:33:41.235-08:00Ok, here's a different perspective, maybe I...Ok, here's a different perspective, maybe I'm not seeing something. Can't keep it short <i>and</i> give a full perspective, but guesses work.<br /><br />I don't think I am filled with humility. But there has to be a point where things are evaluated differently, where a person decides (realizes?) that he (his humility) is being taken advantage of.<br /><br />Five yours is a lot to recap, I'll try to hit highlights:<br />- good job, 401K, Roth IRA, stock fund, credit cards (~$100K limit), money in the bank, bills paid on time, etc. All good.<br />- Met a woman, short-term fun; single mom<br />- moved twice, 5 job transitions, girlfriend moved in (woman above), fired from one job / unable to get new job or even UNEMPLOYMENT for MONTHS, she was depressed for over a year (even WITH meds, she couldn't get off the couch most days - because she couldn't find a job, she didn't think she'd have a problem.) We ate out frequently (condo was small, TV is small consolation with no friends and no social interaction), yet we had a maid. <br />Blew through money faster than I could earn it; she wanted to pay the bills to "feel like she was contributing".<br />Then there was the custody battle for her daughter ($30K), purchase of a house($30K down + mortgage), her car payments, my motorcycle payments, then I got fired. Most of that occurred 2006-2008, excepting two job positions. Bankruptcy in 2007, repo of her car and my bike 2008, though she DID keep food on the table after I lost my job. Still, I wasn't interested in being husband or father, and told her so up front. <br />I was a beast after I lost my job; she's been beastly frequently. <br /><br />So again, at what point does an individual cross from humble partner to punk? (Especially considering I'm not married to her.)Bill Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07312167460324611006noreply@blogger.com