Ditch The Dream

The following is an excerpt from my first book, "We Snap in Silence"

"My unexpected expectations of my husband took me to a pool of dissatisfaction and I began to ask the question, "What happened?" Not only were these expectation unfair to him, they were damaging our marriage. I began planning my dream wedding when I was in high school by purchasing brides books and imagining exactly what my wedding dress would be like. Little emphasis were put on my marriage because all my attention was on the wedding ceremony. I had a dream and expected my husband to help make my dream come true. He didn't have a chance! I set him up for failure from the very beginning. When I shared my feelings of discontent with him, he was confused."

Expectations deliver one thing - disappointment.

Don't place expectations on your spouse!

Marriage isn't what I make it, but what it makes me. Marriage molds two people into one through the trials, challenges, and storms of life. The more severe the storm, the stronger we stand.

Don't bail out, but pray to endure! Just when you're about to throw in the towel, the sun will peek through the dark clouds offering a ray of hope. Only the strong survive in marriage.

Help Me Be A Helpmate

Shared from my Mom's Peace Bites Blog

Hubby hugged me and held me tightly – longer than usual. I went away for the weekend – only the weekend. Hubby’s hug only confirmed what my father recently said to me, “your husband needs you.” Daddy’s wisdom and God’s grace has kept me in my marriage because there are many days I don’t feel like being married. Daddy went on to explain how men try to run the household, but it’s really the women. A man may never admit to needing his wife, but they do. It’s not about the physical help (cooking and sex) as much as it is the emotional help. The weight of being the leader in the home with the responsibility of financially providing for others is a weight many wives will never comprehend. Single mothers can definitely relate, but the married ones take it for granted mainly because we help with the providing – I take it for granted. It somewhat bruises a man’s ego to know he needs help from a woman and men are full of ego. 

Husbands need words of affirmation even when they aren’t stepping up to the plate like we think they should. Our help is what helps them step up, but our complaining and judging kills their manly spirit. I know my hubby needs me and the hug only reminded me, but can I get some of that help? Yes, that was my first thought, but of course God instructed me to lean on Him just a little more as a wife. I’m called to be a help mate, yet can barely help myself, but God is my helper! Thank you, Jesus! This morning when I heard hubby’s alarm clock, I saturated him in prayer and also asked God to empower me as a helpmate. Hubby needs my encouragement and support – again and again. Hubby needs my help – hubby needs me.