It's Hard

Yes, marriage is hard and if we knew what we were getting into, there would be very few marriages.

For those of you new to marriage, I'm glad you found your way here. Sometimes it's hard to find someone to talk to about your marital issues and it's even more difficult to find someone who will not judge you for what you're feeling. The early years are difficult as you find out things you didn't have a clue about (smile). Trust me - it gets better.

Each year of our marriage was a learning experience. First, I had to learn what love really was, then I had to learn forgiveness, then patience, then compassion, then humility, then I had to retake each of these relationship classes again as I went through a different storm. It never ends, but we get a little stronger as we endure each storm. Our character is formed, our faith gets stronger, our love for one another grows deeper, and on and on and on.... I have to be honest and say there have been times I've felt like giving up the fight and other times I just knew I married the wrong person, but I'm still here - living happily in my 'unhappily' moments.

I've obtained two pieces of valuable advice that I continually use in my marriage. One is from my pastor - "The only way you lose is if you give up" and the other is from my father - "Don't take it personal."

We sometimes forget our spouse's emotions and comments are not always about us. They have personal battles and daily issues that don't concern us. Baggage from childhood and a life before we married them is brought into the marriage and we must learn to accept this. Everything is not about us although at times it feels things are being taken out on us! Unfortunately, a spouse is often a scapegoat.

Giving up is definitely the only way we can lose at marriage. Throwing our hands in the air is so easy, but I can honestly say, I'm glad I stayed in the battle. I'm glad I endured the tough times when I THOUGHT I wanted my freedom. I THOUGHT I could do bad by myself, but when the storms pass, they are forgotten - at least until the next one comes (lol).

Instead of throwing my hands in the air to give up, I keep them in the air to praise, which confuses the HECK out of the enemy!

Marriage really is a wonderful thing. Yes, it's hard, but we're here to offer hope.