It Really Does Get Easier

My husband was so excited yesterday to attend a class offered at church titled, The Measure of a Man. After eighteen years of marriage, now he wants to be educated on the measure of a man. Don’t get me wrong; I’m grateful, but where was this class when we were going through hell? We’ve taken quite a few marriage classes and even led the Couples’ Ministry at church. I’m here to tell you – hubby and I have the real deal marriage. We are complete opposites and we experience our share of ups, downs, arguments, seasons of bliss, and even entertained divorce.

 I had a thought last night – marriage is like wisdom…it doesn’t come until you’ve experienced all the bumps, bruises, and battles of life and by that time, you’re on your way out of the land of the living. Now that I’ve experienced some of those bumps and bruises, I know the early years of our marriage were only a test of our will to survive the marriage. The middle years of marriage were a test of our patience and longsuffering. The surviving years (where we are now) are continual pop tests of trusting God. I pray our final years will be…years of contentment? Marriage gets easier, but the bumps keep coming. Hubby’s eleven-week class is an overdue tune-up for our marriage. No tune-up, no marriage….and that’s NO JOKE.

For those of you entertaining the thought of leaving your marriage or stuck in a season of staleness or suffering, don’t look at your husband’s face, your circumstances, or other couples faking the funk, but look to God. Unless you’re in an abusive relationship, stand strong through your seasons. It doesn’t matter what your situation is (I’ve experienced it all), God is real. Don’t walk out before you’re shown the measure of your man. Do your part and God will surely do His.  I’m a witness!

Guest Blogger

 I came across this post today and wanted to share. I love "keeping it real" writing.

 QueenBee and Company - On Being Married

It Takes Time

Marriage is a course in the school of life in which one never graduates from, but you sure do learn a lot about yourself and what love is REALLY all about.

I'm a witness, marriage does get better with time, but if you bail out early, you'll never see the better, but you'll definitely end up bitter.

Marriage is like a fine takes years to make a sweet juice and you sure can't rush it. It's a process - a looong process requiring a lot of patience and understanding. Marriage isn't for wimps!

Midlife Crisis

 By Sarah Mahoney- Good Housekeeping

Myth : Every guy has a midlife crisis - any day, your spouse will drive off in a new red sports car.
It's true that men sometimes do crazy things when they reach a certain age. You may feel like snickering at some of their attempts to regain their lost youth, like the balding executive who gets a spanking-new Harley - or a much younger girlfriend. Such drastic changes are fortunately far from commonplace outside the soaps, but psychologists say that most of us will go through a period of midlife reevaluation.

New rule: It's not a crisis - and it's not just for men.
Actually, this period of reexamination is a healthy part of development. As people move into their 40s, 50s, and beyond, their perspectives shift. Careers may plateau or take off in unexpected new directions. The first serious health problem may come along, or a parent may die and spur you to rethink your priorities. All of these are natural, inevitable transitions, and the best approach to dealing with them is to learn what you can and follow where they lead you. Fortunately, most people do: A recent poll by found that more than half of those over 55 are looking forward to starting new chapters in their lives.
More and more the phrase "midlife crisis" is being swapped for "reinvention"; all across America, you can hear men and women talking about their second acts. But rarely do they mean a full-scale life overhaul. More often they're contemplating ways to make more time for what they already love. Men who have done a little woodworking take on a deck redesign; women who have always wanted more time to get in shape sign up for their first triathlon.
Not only are these course corrections good for us as individuals, they also seem to invigorate our relationships. People in their 40s and 50s feel they have more control over their work, their finances, and their marriages, reports a multi-university study. Some crisis, huh? Instead of worrying about his issues, focus on whether you're ripe for reinvention yourself. Rediscover your priorities, and above all, don't feel you're being selfish by pursuing your passion: What's good for you is good for your marriage, too.


Love this! 

Cheating, Infidelity, Creeping, or whatever you want to call's all WRONG!

Marriage vows seem to mean very little to the majority of society these days. Having a 
television show called, Cheaters, is just ridiculous. Why? Why on the planet Earth
would a show like that be aired? smh...
Every marriage has a story!

If you've been married for any amount of time, you are obviously having a successful marriage.
Every marriage will endure problems and your marriage may be going through a difficult storm right now, but hang in there!

Don't be afraid to share your story with someone else who has gone through what you've already survived. Nothing is new under the sun, and although the issues may not be exact, often the solutions are.

Patience, understanding, forgiving, acceptance, prayer, etc...

Share your story and help another couple realize they aren't alone.

How Long?

Lately, I've been meeting older women who have stayed in their marriages although they are not happy.  This is old school love...the til death we do part kinda love that seems to be leaving the new school marriages of today.

The fact is, there is no old school or new school marriage. Marriage has always been and will always's the people in the marriage that have lost values, morals, and respect for not only marriage but obviously their mate.

Take a look at your marriage. Are you willing to put up with what you might be sick and tired of til death or are you ready to just throw in the towel because you're sick and tired?

Remember this, if you are a Believer, God hasn't gotten sick and tired of you!

Hmmm...I'm chewing on that statement myself!

Til Death Do Us Part

 "I Do"

I do...agree to stand by my mate through good times and bad times
I do...agree to stand behind my mate in difficult circumstances
I do...agree to recognize my mate's weaknesses, but not use them against him/her
I do...agree to look beyond my mate's faults
I do...agree to be my mate's FRIEND through thick and thin
I do...agree to forgive and restore regardless of the issues at hand
I do...agree to put my mate's needs before my own
I do...agree to love my mate especially in the unlovable moments
I do...agree to expect hard times and believe they will make us stronger
I do...agree to embrace my mate's total being
I do...agree to do my best to get to know my mate
I do...agree to not nag, purposely irritate, or frustrate my mate
I do...agree to look past my mate's bad days
I do...agree to encourage my mate
I do...agree to speak good things about my mate
I do...agree to find the good in everything about my mate
I do...agree to remember I made a vow to "I do" till death do us part
Do you?

"I Do!"

I haven’t blogged in a while because I’ve been speechless. I guess for a blog, I can say I've been wordless. 

I’m saddened by the number of marriages in my circle going through difficult times and I’m even more saddened by the ones pretending everything is okay. It’s no secret, marriage is difficult – downright hard as hell, especially if you don’t work at it.

Saying “I Do” was only the ignition for the fire. Just like a car...if all you do is start it up every time you get in it, then expect the car to stop running one day.  The oil needs to be checked and changed periodically, the tires need air, the transmission needs fluid, and even something as small as the windshield wipers need attention. They need fluid to work properly and you NEVER know when it might rain. The same is with a marriage, you NEVER know when your marriage may be hit by a storm, so it's best to be prepared. Do your part with the maintenance plan of your marriage.  

Saying, “I Do” has very little to do with the work a marriage requires, but saying, “I Do” is definitely agreeing to hard times in your marriage. We focus so much on the wedding plans, we forget the marriage is planning something for you! Most of us had no idea the plans our marriage had in store for us. I know I was KNOCKED OFF MY FEET! After eighteen years, we still go through.

God promised we would have trials and hard times, marriage IS NOT excluded. The foundation of the world and the church is a strong marriage, so of course marriages will often stand on shaky ground. 

You really don’t get to know a person until you say, “I Do.” I don’t know what it is about those two magical words, I Do, but it’s almost saying I do to revealing your true self, exposing your baggage that wasn’t visible at the alter, and taking the mask off that was worn throughout the dating stage.

Welcome to the land of "I Do."  Do you? Really? 

Stay tuned...I'm no longer wordless.

Words Hurt

While perusing through the pages of The 10 Commandments of Marriage by Ed Young, I came across the below passage and wanted to share.

"You know how most men and women respond to conflicts in marriage? They react with harsh words. They retaliate. They offer insult for insult. For instance,

  • "Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" a wife asks.  Because it reminds me I married the wrong woman." he replies.
  • "We have a good marriage," says a wife, "because both of us love the same man - You!"
  • "You love football more than you love me," a woman complains. "Maybe so," her husband replies, "but I love you better than baseball."
  • "What do your husband and you have in common?" a counselor wondered. "One thing," the woman replied. "Neither one of us can stand the other."

The statements may be humorous, but they help illustrate the lowest common denominator  to which many marriages sink in exchanging insult  for insult, injury for injury. "

If you don't think you can feel words, think again...words hurt!

Don't Quit

Your marriage is not yours to decide to quit. It belongs to two people and ultimately belongs to God. You'll take your marriage as seriously as you took your vows.

My Fish Plate

My primary love language is Acts of Service. If hubby washes the dishes, makes the bed, vacuums, or anything of domestic nature, I'm a happy woman! Today, he came home with a fish plate just for me. I was ecstatic! I had just finished cooking dinner, but I sat down with my fish plate and ate like I was in heaven. Fish and French Fries is one of my favorite meals. Hubby's act of service was right on time. It was like he cooked dinner especially for me! I kissed him on the lips (rare for me) and this small gesture spoke volumes to him because his secondary love language is Physical Touch. He was ecstatic and said, "Is that all I have to do to get a kiss?" Yeah, buddy! Feed me and you can have all the kisses you want!!