Q and A

 Q
LaVender,

My husband and I took some time off work and we reconnected as people in love during that time (lunch, a movie, laughter and conversation, etc.).   Married couples get to this place where the woman treats the man like one of her children (fussing, nagging, etc.) and the man treats the woman like one of his annoying co-workers. Why is that?!?
Anonymous

A
Anonymous,
I don't claim to be a marriage expert, and this is just my opinion.
The longer I’m married, I realize our relationship is like an old t-shirt or a pair of sweats that are raggedy as @#!*% . We feel so comfortable in the old sweats or t-shirt and just can’t let it go. Nothing else in our closet makes us feel as comfortable, yet we wouldn’t dare wear it outside the house. As comfortable as the t-shirt is, there comes a time when you need to buy something new – keep the t-shirt, but buy a new one every now and then…just like marriage – keep the comfy feeling (no one else makes us feel this way), but sometimes we need to reNEW the relationship. 

Getting comfortable is actually a good thing in marriage if it's not abused. Think about it. How many people can you do what you do and look like you look with your spouse? We're able to let our guards down and simply be who we really are - without masks. The only problem with this comfy feeling is when we take advantage of our comfort space. Instead of showing our spouse how much we appreciate being comfortable with them and growing old together, we misuse our old sweats and forget to treat them as special as we would a new pair of sweats. 

LaVender

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Been thinking on marriage a lot lately. I read the saddest story that Joyce Carol Oates (the author) wrote in the New Yorker a week or so ago called "The Sudden Death of a Husband;" it left me sobbing. Her husband of many, many years passed away and her grief was so real, so raw, so enlightened. It affected me so deeply.

Marriage drives you crazy and yet sometimes is the most wonderful thing, all at the same time.