Hostile Husbands

Excerpt from Fascinating Womanhood

"When a marriage has had real problems and then the wife makes a devoted effort to improve it by applying the principles of Fascinating Womanhood, it can cause a peculiar reaction in her husband which I call Pandora's Box. In this case, when Fascinating Womanhood is applied, instead of the man being loving and tender, he may become violent and pour out resentments and hostile feeling towards his wife.

It is important for the wife to understand the change which is taking place within the man, which cause this violent outburst. I can explain it in this way: If a man's marriage has been "shaky, " he may have suppressed resentful feelings towards his wife in order to hold his marriage together. When she has made mistakes which have hurt him or disappointed him, instead of expressing these troubled feelings, he may have felt it necessary to suppress them in order to avoid further marriage problems or even a marriage failure. This is not to say that he acted wisely, but only to say that he did so out of what he felt was a necessity."

My thoughts...
I found the above excerpt to be very true in my own marriage. When I decided to make changes years ago, it was like hubby was saying, "The nerve of you!" I had to simply understand that just because I changed didn't mean he was expected to receive it on MY time. Of course, he eventually came around and realized the change was real and our marriage could benefit. He even made changes of his own. These things take time and a lot of patience and understanding. If your marriage has been rocky for a number of years, it is highly unlikely it will change over night.

No comments: