Let the royal wedding be a reminder that your
wedding day and your vows are royal before God.
I'm Leaving!
I always joke (I think I'm joking) with hubby about leaving him when the boys leave for college. Once the boys graduate, I won't have to cook or clean as much. FREEDOM! Hubby and I can do our own thing and go our separate ways. Well, I recently reminded hubby of this thought while at my parent's home this weekend and guess what hubby did? He immediately ran and told my parents like they would rescue him or something. It was hilarious! I pictured a little boy running to tell that his friend said a bad word. Are you serious?
I'm not sure what my parents told him, but I heard a lot of laughter. Hubby later told me he couldn't believe I would leave him in the cold. I let him know I would wait until the summer months if that would help him. LOL!
Humor in a marriage is medicinal for me. If I take it too seriously all the time, I don't think I would be here.
I'm not sure what my parents told him, but I heard a lot of laughter. Hubby later told me he couldn't believe I would leave him in the cold. I let him know I would wait until the summer months if that would help him. LOL!
Humor in a marriage is medicinal for me. If I take it too seriously all the time, I don't think I would be here.
I Don't Have a Husband Anymore
Yes, I still have a husband.
I actually had someone tell me she didn't feel she has a husband anymore because he was so disconnected. You would never know it to look at them because they are usually always together, yet there is little to no conversation. They've been this way for a few years, but her only desire is to renew her marriage. I think this is so beautiful because after a year of no conversation, the 'D' word would have come out of my mouth.
Love, commitment, patience, understanding, long suffering, acceptance, humility and a few other powerful love qualities are definitely necessary to withstand trying times in a marriage - even if the storm lasts for more than you think you can tolerate. You never know until you've been there!
This woman waiting and wanting restoration in her marriage is an amazing example of what marriage is about. Not knowing much about her husband besides the one-sided story I heard from her, everyone deserves another chance...or do they? Does it depend on the situation? If so, would that be called conditional love? I believe they've been married for over 20 years, so they've already experienced their share of storms. This is also proof of the various seasons marriages go through as we age together. Aging brings on another set of issues to deal with - adult children, frequency of sex or lack of, menopause, and even the mid-life crisis some men experience.
Whatever the case, be still in your storm. It HAS to pass! Have you ever known a storm to last forever? The storm may tear up a few things and scare the heck out of you, but after it passes and clean up is done, you hardly know a storm came through!
Be encouraged!
I actually had someone tell me she didn't feel she has a husband anymore because he was so disconnected. You would never know it to look at them because they are usually always together, yet there is little to no conversation. They've been this way for a few years, but her only desire is to renew her marriage. I think this is so beautiful because after a year of no conversation, the 'D' word would have come out of my mouth.
Love, commitment, patience, understanding, long suffering, acceptance, humility and a few other powerful love qualities are definitely necessary to withstand trying times in a marriage - even if the storm lasts for more than you think you can tolerate. You never know until you've been there!
This woman waiting and wanting restoration in her marriage is an amazing example of what marriage is about. Not knowing much about her husband besides the one-sided story I heard from her, everyone deserves another chance...or do they? Does it depend on the situation? If so, would that be called conditional love? I believe they've been married for over 20 years, so they've already experienced their share of storms. This is also proof of the various seasons marriages go through as we age together. Aging brings on another set of issues to deal with - adult children, frequency of sex or lack of, menopause, and even the mid-life crisis some men experience.
Whatever the case, be still in your storm. It HAS to pass! Have you ever known a storm to last forever? The storm may tear up a few things and scare the heck out of you, but after it passes and clean up is done, you hardly know a storm came through!
Be encouraged!
Not Tonight, Honey
Although strange...it's true. As much as men enjoy sex, some lose interest.
Below is an article from Focus on the Family
When Your Husband Isn't Interested in Sex
Below is an article from Focus on the Family
When Your Husband Isn't Interested in Sex
Hostile Husbands
Excerpt from Fascinating Womanhood
"When a marriage has had real problems and then the wife makes a devoted effort to improve it by applying the principles of Fascinating Womanhood, it can cause a peculiar reaction in her husband which I call Pandora's Box. In this case, when Fascinating Womanhood is applied, instead of the man being loving and tender, he may become violent and pour out resentments and hostile feeling towards his wife.
It is important for the wife to understand the change which is taking place within the man, which cause this violent outburst. I can explain it in this way: If a man's marriage has been "shaky, " he may have suppressed resentful feelings towards his wife in order to hold his marriage together. When she has made mistakes which have hurt him or disappointed him, instead of expressing these troubled feelings, he may have felt it necessary to suppress them in order to avoid further marriage problems or even a marriage failure. This is not to say that he acted wisely, but only to say that he did so out of what he felt was a necessity."
My thoughts...
I found the above excerpt to be very true in my own marriage. When I decided to make changes years ago, it was like hubby was saying, "The nerve of you!" I had to simply understand that just because I changed didn't mean he was expected to receive it on MY time. Of course, he eventually came around and realized the change was real and our marriage could benefit. He even made changes of his own. These things take time and a lot of patience and understanding. If your marriage has been rocky for a number of years, it is highly unlikely it will change over night.
"When a marriage has had real problems and then the wife makes a devoted effort to improve it by applying the principles of Fascinating Womanhood, it can cause a peculiar reaction in her husband which I call Pandora's Box. In this case, when Fascinating Womanhood is applied, instead of the man being loving and tender, he may become violent and pour out resentments and hostile feeling towards his wife.
It is important for the wife to understand the change which is taking place within the man, which cause this violent outburst. I can explain it in this way: If a man's marriage has been "shaky, " he may have suppressed resentful feelings towards his wife in order to hold his marriage together. When she has made mistakes which have hurt him or disappointed him, instead of expressing these troubled feelings, he may have felt it necessary to suppress them in order to avoid further marriage problems or even a marriage failure. This is not to say that he acted wisely, but only to say that he did so out of what he felt was a necessity."
My thoughts...
I found the above excerpt to be very true in my own marriage. When I decided to make changes years ago, it was like hubby was saying, "The nerve of you!" I had to simply understand that just because I changed didn't mean he was expected to receive it on MY time. Of course, he eventually came around and realized the change was real and our marriage could benefit. He even made changes of his own. These things take time and a lot of patience and understanding. If your marriage has been rocky for a number of years, it is highly unlikely it will change over night.
Six Characteristics of Men
Excerpt from Fascinating Womanhood
Six Characteristics of Men
Six Characteristics of Men
- His need to be accepted at face value
- His need for admiration
- His sensitive masculine pride
- His need for sympathetic understanding
- His need to be No. 1
- His need to serve as a guide, protector and provider to feel needed in this role, and to excel women in doing so
Accepting Your Husband
Excerpt from "Fascinating Womanhood":
Rules for Acceptance
1. Get rid of self righteous attitude
2. Accept him as part virtue, part fault
3.Give him his freedom to be himself
4. Don't try to change him
5. Don't use other men as shining examples.
6. Look to his better side.
7. Express your acceptance with words.
Can You Change Your Husband?
Fascinating Womanhood Excerpt:
Why do Women Try to Change Men?
1. For Her Own Good.
His faults bring problems and deprivation int her life, robbing her of some of the things she really wants.
2. For His Own Good.
Many well meaning women will say, "If you really love and care about someone, it is important to see that they get the best out of life. Therefore, I must change my husband for his own good."
There are four reasons why women should not try to change men.
1. It creates marriage problems.
2. It can destroy love.
3. It can cause a man to rebel.
4. It doesn't work.
Hubby says I changed him a lot when we met. He SAYS I started dressing him like a nerd. Excuse me? He was already dressing like a homeless nerd, so I HAD to help him out! I also gave him a little culture like exposing him to plays and musicals and other things to do on dates besides dinner and a movie. Well, you may not be able to change a man, but you can sure give him some training!
More on Fascinating Womanhood to come...
Why do Women Try to Change Men?
1. For Her Own Good.
His faults bring problems and deprivation int her life, robbing her of some of the things she really wants.
2. For His Own Good.
Many well meaning women will say, "If you really love and care about someone, it is important to see that they get the best out of life. Therefore, I must change my husband for his own good."
There are four reasons why women should not try to change men.
1. It creates marriage problems.
2. It can destroy love.
3. It can cause a man to rebel.
4. It doesn't work.
Hubby says I changed him a lot when we met. He SAYS I started dressing him like a nerd. Excuse me? He was already dressing like a homeless nerd, so I HAD to help him out! I also gave him a little culture like exposing him to plays and musicals and other things to do on dates besides dinner and a movie. Well, you may not be able to change a man, but you can sure give him some training!
More on Fascinating Womanhood to come...
Accepting Your Husband
Excerpt from Fascinating Womanhood:
What Does Acceptance Mean?
Acceptance means that we accept him for the man he is. We accept his ways, his hopes and dreams or his lack of dreams. We accept his ideas, his interests and his weaknesses. We accept the little quirks in his personality, his religious views, and his political views and any traits he may have, for better or for worse. We are doing more than accepting him - we are accepting his right to be himself. We may not agree with his ideas, but we respect his right to his own viewpoint. We may notice his weaknesses, but we accept this as normal in a human being. We accept him as he is and look to his better side.
Acceptance does not mean tolerance, or "putting up with him': nor does it mean dishonesty - that we must convince ourselves he is perfect when he is not. Nor does it mean resignation. Acceptance is a happy state of mind when we realize that our responsibility is not in making him over, but in appreciating him for what he is.
To be continued....
For more on "Fascinating Womanhood" click here
What Does Acceptance Mean?
Acceptance means that we accept him for the man he is. We accept his ways, his hopes and dreams or his lack of dreams. We accept his ideas, his interests and his weaknesses. We accept the little quirks in his personality, his religious views, and his political views and any traits he may have, for better or for worse. We are doing more than accepting him - we are accepting his right to be himself. We may not agree with his ideas, but we respect his right to his own viewpoint. We may notice his weaknesses, but we accept this as normal in a human being. We accept him as he is and look to his better side.
Acceptance does not mean tolerance, or "putting up with him': nor does it mean dishonesty - that we must convince ourselves he is perfect when he is not. Nor does it mean resignation. Acceptance is a happy state of mind when we realize that our responsibility is not in making him over, but in appreciating him for what he is.
To be continued....
For more on "Fascinating Womanhood" click here
What a Man Wants
I'm revisiting the book, "Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen Andelin. The book was written in 1963, so of course it has the old fashioned values of marriage, but values really haven't changed - people have. The book shares 'inspirational feminine secrets that can save your marriage and enrich your life'.
I'll be sharing a few excerpts from the book as I read it. It's that good! Everyone can improve their marriage and since mine is on a high right now, I'd like to keep it there for a while.
Fascinating Womanhood Excerpt:
"The ideal woman from a man's point of view is divided into two parts. The one part is her spiritual qualifications. We will call this side of her the Angelic. The other part relates to her human characteristics. We will call this side of her the Human. The Angelic side of a woman has to do with her basic good character, her ability to understand men, their feelings, needs, and sensitive nature. It also includes her domestic skills and the ability to succeed in her feminine role in the home. It includes a quality of inner happiness or tranquility of spirit which is a part of womanly beauty.
The Human side refers to a woman's appearance, manner, and actions and includes the charms of femininity, radiance, and a quality of dependence upon men for their care, protection, and guidance. It also includes good health and a feminine dignity of spirit or spunk. The Angelic and the Human combine to make the perfect woman from the man's point of view. They are both essential in winning his genuine love."
To be continued...
I'll be sharing a few excerpts from the book as I read it. It's that good! Everyone can improve their marriage and since mine is on a high right now, I'd like to keep it there for a while.
Fascinating Womanhood Excerpt:
"The ideal woman from a man's point of view is divided into two parts. The one part is her spiritual qualifications. We will call this side of her the Angelic. The other part relates to her human characteristics. We will call this side of her the Human. The Angelic side of a woman has to do with her basic good character, her ability to understand men, their feelings, needs, and sensitive nature. It also includes her domestic skills and the ability to succeed in her feminine role in the home. It includes a quality of inner happiness or tranquility of spirit which is a part of womanly beauty.
The Human side refers to a woman's appearance, manner, and actions and includes the charms of femininity, radiance, and a quality of dependence upon men for their care, protection, and guidance. It also includes good health and a feminine dignity of spirit or spunk. The Angelic and the Human combine to make the perfect woman from the man's point of view. They are both essential in winning his genuine love."
To be continued...
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