Missing money, excessive cell phone calls, pornography, drugs, infidelity, alcohol, laziness, late nights at the office, lies, etc...
Whatever your spouse's black hole is, confronting them at the right time and place with the right words is crucial.
I was always hesitant about confronting (regarding any issue) because I didn't know WHAT to say. Some spouses will confront immediately out of anger, yet this only adds tension to an already difficult confrontation. If you don't have a solution lined up, what do you expect to resolve? If you aren't a qualified counselor in the particular area, are you ready to receive the truth, lies, denial, an argument of defense, or a request for help?
Spiritual couples have to learn to trust the Holy Spirit in the spouse to do the confronting. When you think about it, God really does NOT need our help, but we feel it's our job to confront and correct. Don't get me wrong, communication is important, but communicating with the right words is even more important.
There is no doubt, you will be led to say exactly what is necessary at the right time, in the right place, with the right heart, and the right words if you depend on God to handle His child.
If you want to handle things on your own, be ready for anything and everything!
If you choose not to confront, your spouse may continue slipping deeper into the black hole.
Accountablity is so important in marriage - in every area.
Don't forget...you have a black hole also. You may not think it is as extreme as your spouse's issue, but God doesn't weigh or label our issue. He LOVES us regardless of what the issue is and is ready to love and forgive with no conditions. Are you?