As a wife and mother, it's so easy to pay attention to the little people's needs before I meet the needs of hubby. We were married for waaay tooooo many years before I realized hubby's needs needed to come before the children's. I didn't understand this at first. How in the world was I supposed to meet the needs of a grown man before I changed a diaper or fed my children? Well, that's it...those aren't the needs that are begging for attention. Remember, being a helper is a little deeper than we think.
As for the husbands. It's also easy to be that strong father figure and forget a tender woman is behind the scenes needing love and attention also. We'll address this in another post.
What are the signs of a neglected husband? Do you know? If not, why not ask your husband if he ever feels neglected or at the bottom of the food chain in your home.
I hate to say it, but I will. Men are big boys all grown up and yes, they want undivided attention also.
If most men have their physical needs met, they are good to go all day and night. Others may desire more quality time with you. Then there are some that need to be stroked emotionally more than others. The key is to find out what makes your husband tick.
Below is a short conversation hubby and I had about husband neglect.
Me: "Do you ever feel neglected?"
Hubby: thinking and smiling
Me: "Is it a physical neglect?"
Hubby: "No, we already conquered sex, so I guess not. Oh yea, when you fall asleep when we're watching a movie."
Sigh...my husband's number one love language is without a shadow of a doubt - physical touch. It's good to know what husbands need. When hubby and I took a course titled The Five Love Languages, it enhanced our marriage in so many ways. When we follow the principles taught in the book, it's like being a newlywed couple all over again.
Find out what your husband's love language is here.
2 comments:
Sigh...my husband's number one love language is without a shadow of a doubt - physical touch.
a tender woman is behind the scenes needing love and attention also.
Sigh....my wife's number one love language is without a shadow of a doubt - attention
Men's needs deserve a sigh. Since females demand to be treated equally then female's needs deserve a sigh.
It's this attitude from females that has resulted in the marriage rate continually falling and the divorce rate sky rocketing. These days men are trying to figure out what a female can offer a man other than a 75% chance she will ruin his life. Sigh.
It does not matter how many times I have told her that I come after the kids, and after the dog, she dismissed it. I though that when the kids are grown up, I would have more of my wife, but now I come after the grand-children. It never gets better. It does not matter how many times I have told her. Surely thousands of times (365 days a year for many years). Everybody thinks she is so wonderful. People wonder why I am not so happy anymore. Duh... In the end, I know I will be blamed.
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