A Cure For Our Suffering Sex Life

Before sharing this post, it's important for me to mention it was hubby's idea to share this bedroom business because it may help someone. Sex is extremely important in marriage, yet I believe it's more important to most men, which is why he suggested I share.

During our season of storms, sex was a major issue. Actually, it probably caused a few of the storms. Women are emotional responders and it is very difficult to respond sexually when we don't feel loved - I am definitely NOT an exception to this.

When a couple isn't having sex, MAJOR problems on top of the pre-existing problems arise. Communication suffers and needs go unmet. Physical needs are everything to men (most men), which is why adultery, pornography, office affairs, crushes, and other sexual misconducts birth. Sex is like medicine to men - they gotta have it. I don't know about your man, but MY man has pms-like symptoms when he hasn't had his medicine - irritability, mood swings, etc...Good grief!

Hubby may have thought he was doing all the right things outside of the bedroom, but he wasn't speaking my love language, therefore, I did not respond to his sexual advances. Excuse me? Are you serious? I was disgusted at the thought he wanted to make love and our marriage was crumbling. I wanted to communicate and he wanted to screw make love. Well, after a few talk to the back nights, hubby stopped making advances and waited for me to make a move. Ha! I love using the term "blue balled baboon" because it leaves no doubt in what I'm trying to convey.

When I mentally separated myself from hubby, I was gone...in every way - including sexually. I didn't see any reason to be intimate. It just didn't make sense to me. Let's get things right first and then we can make up. Hubby was quite the opposite. He was actually waiting for me to roll over and make mad love to him. You've GOT to be kidding me.

We talked a lot about these sexually struggling days for him us and how he thought something was seriously wrong with our marriage because we weren't having sex. See how differently men and women think? I'm thinking we're already broken, but in hubby's eyes, we weren't broken until we stopped being intimate. Well, no wonder we weren't getting anywhere!

This went on for a long time until hubby couldn't handle the blue balls cold nights anymore. He asked me what the problem was. Uh...I don't have a problem, I'm fine! Sex was the bottom line. Sex wasn't happening, so we weren't happening.

For those of you who can continue to be intimate in the midst of a storm, I tip my hat off to you. I'm still not there, but hubby came up with a solution that works for us.

The root of our problem was my lack of initiation for sex. You know what, If I'm not feeling you all day, I'm sure not going to feel on you at night.

Hubby literally put the ball in my court (no pun intended). His humility in the bedroom and laying his ego aside has changed the atmosphere in our bedroom forever. He literally waits for me with no pressure, no demands, or Biblical reference about my body belonging to him. Because of his humble change, I changed and now...Sweet Hubby can have it anytime he wants it!!

This is what marriage is about - togetherness - harmony - compromise. We miss these things with our programmed expectations of the husband/wife roles. If men would just get a little lower and stop trying to control and expect the wife to 'serve' you, she'll serve all day long because she desires to show her love to you - in every way - especially the bedroom.

But noooo, men want to be Tarzan and swing their egos and muscles from tree to tree all day long and expect Jane to like it and perform in bed at night.

Not in this house - not anymore.

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