Before you develop a deep bitterness towards your mate, take some time and think about the good times, the good traits, and the loving moments you've shared with your spouse. You might have to go waaaaaay back, but those 'good times' are there. Your struggling season hasn't lasted the entire marriage.....has it?
Our thoughts dictate our actions, which is the reason for thinking 'good things' about your spouse and marriage during a storm. This was my downfall because I continually fed myself trash thoughts about hubby until I realized I was making myself sick - literally. There was NOTHING good about him (in my mind), so I had to change my thoughts. This took prayer
Low and behold, the man I married began to appear (in my mind). Thoughts of him and our dating years brought smiles to my face. I was so happy to become his wife. It was only during these pleasant thoughts that I realized I wanted to remain married to hubby. I must mention, we were both at fault in letting the marriage circle the drain. I definitely did my share
Although he already said it was over, in my mind I was thinking the opposite. Yeah, that's what you think.
My second step was to remove any expectations I had of him doing anything constructive to make the marriage work. Removing expectations didn't make things easier, but it helped deal with rejection to my kind gestures. The rejections to spending time together, having simple conversation, or even cooking a nice meal. Hubby didn't want me to do anything for him. Fine with me!
It was during the times of rejections that I had to really depend on God's promises. I also realized this wasn't my marriage to walk out on - the marriage belonged to God from the beginning, so neither of us had any right to call the shots. This was a relief to me It was a relief because I knew it wasn't over until The Owner closed the door.
To be continued....