Short-end of the Stick

Daddy told me years ago that the woman gets the short end of the stick in the average marriage. While the man gets married and gains a helper, the woman becomes his helper. She too, should gain a helper if the marriage is any kind of partnership, yet if bound by husband / wife roles, she definitely gets the short end of the stick.

I've been conditioned / programmed by religion to believe in the old school roles of husband and wife. Well, no more. There's a new wife in town and she's got a few words to say...

Through the Fire

I thought quite a bit about a certain someone yesterday. After seeing her pretty face in my mind several times, I finally caught the clue to pray for her. She’s getting married soon, so I prayed for any last minute preparations she had going on. I don’t think anyone knows the real deal about marriage unless someone tells them. Most of us found out on our own after we made our vows before God and a few witnesses. Well, you know me. I’ll tell you the real deal plus some!

Marriage is a beautiful union between two people who really don’t know each other, but love each other so much they are willing to go through the fire of love to get to know each other after saying, “I do.” Of course that definition didn’t come until after I had been married a few years. I’ve shared my marriage on several occasions through these meditations, so it’s no secret that my marriage has spent a lot of time in the fire. I prayed for this certain someone more than once and at midnight thirty last night, she was on my mind again; so I prayed again.  This time, I didn’t pray for last minute wedding preparations, but that God would prepare her mind, her body, and her soul for her walk through the fire of love.

As I write this, Chaka Khan’s song, Through the Fire chorus lyrics come to mind…Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall. For a chance to be with you I'd gladly risk it all. Through the fire, through whatever, come what may. For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all the way. Right down to the wire. Even through the fire. Beautiful, isn’t it? Marriage is beautiful also as long as we realize it’s required to go THROUGH the fire. There is no walking around it, jumping over it, or avoiding it. A marriage must go through the fire for love to be tested and tried.

As always, I remind women that my words on marriage exclude relationships involving mental, verbal, or physical abuse. Don’t go through the fire, get out of the fire! Run!

Have a marvelous week, and stay covered (in prayer) as you go through your fire of love.

Respect Yourself

I'm completely confused at the number of women I know who stay in marriages where they don't feel loved and aren't respected. Some are being controlled and think they're doing the right thing by "obeying" and following orders from the "head" of their household.

What happened to self worth and self respect? Why do women feel they have to stay in these marriages? Is it because they fear being alone? Because of the children? Lack of finances to leave the marriage? Maybe it's fear - fear of leaving a comfortable lifestyle.

A woman should never forget that not only is she a human being, but she is a human being who deserves to be respected. We may not be able to make another person appreciate us, but maybe if a woman appreciated herself FIRST, others would learn to appreciate her. Think about it..another person will only disrespect you if you allow them to.

Respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself! 

What a Wife Isn't...

Ladies, don't get it twisted. Being a wife doesn't mean being a slave. Being a helpmate, helpmeet, or however you want to say it doesn't mean being at your husband's beckoned call. Serving him doesn't mean washing and ironing his clothes, cooking his dinner, washing the bathtub behind him, or cleaning the toilet behind him. Submission doesn't mean taking orders. You too, should receive the very things you give. Marriage is about serving each other, respecting each other, honoring each other, LOVING each other. A one-sided marriage is not balanced. Both spouses must be married and committed to the union...not just one spouse.