Our First Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

I recalled my first Valentine's Day as a married woman...

On our first Valentine’s Day, hubby walked out the house and came home with a little cheap teddy bear in a tiny, dusty flower pot with an artificial rose attached to it. I remember this like it happened yesterday, and I also remember throwing that mess in the trash can as soon as he handed it to me. Did he really think his last minute, gas station gift would please me? I couldn’t believe it. We haven’t celebrated Valentine’s Day since that day and this month we are celebrating our nineteenth wedding anniversary. Did I react too harshly? I could have acted like I was grateful, but the truth sets me free.   

Over the years, hubby and I have had many discussions about love and Valentine’s Day. Love isn’t a gift, a card, or flowers, but love is hard work, sweat, and tears. Love is forgiving and acceptance. Our marriage has endured some difficult times and has been on the verge of divorce. Our marriage reminds me of the long process a diamond goes through before it is considered authentic. Marriage also goes through a long process, but many of us bail when the process begins to hurt. Marriages have to go through some fire! Hubby and I not only went through the fire, we’ve gone through hell, but we’re still standing. Love conquers ALL…love endures ALL.  I often go around the house singing Foreigner’s song, “I want to know what love is.” The truth is, God is the only one who can show me what love is and if I don’t have God in my heart, I will never be able to show love to others – not even to the man I vowed to love all my life – my hubby – my Valentine.

 With today being Valentine's Day, I think I may have been bitten by the love bug because I'm cooking a special meal for hubby and my two sons. I'm strangely excited about this special dinner especially since cooking is not my forte'.  I'm sure the family will be pleased since everyone enjoys a little special treatment every now and then.

Happy Valentine's Day to you, and don’t look to receive, but look for opportunities to give... today and every day  – give love!

REAL love

Showing LOVE is probably the most difficult thing for anyone to do. It's so easy to recognize faults and shortcomings. 

I don't believe there is such a thing as real love, it's either love or it isn't.

Worth the Fight?

Everything your marriage comes against that is designed to tear you apart is what makes your marriage strong! 

Marriage really isn't marriage until you've gone through some things to test the love; it's easy to love in good times!

ENDURE the rough roads, rocky mountains, stormy weather, and uncomfortable situations. 

No one said it would be easy, but it's worth the fight!

Do You Have to Wear That?

Have you ever wanted to tell your spouse to change their clothes? Hubby has a pair of old work sweats that he decided to wear on New Year's Day. I refused to look at them all day, so I asked him as nicely as I could to change his clothes.    Read how I handled it here.

Woman Donates Organ to Ex

Click here to read

It Really Does Get Easier

My husband was so excited yesterday to attend a class offered at church titled, The Measure of a Man. After eighteen years of marriage, now he wants to be educated on the measure of a man. Don’t get me wrong; I’m grateful, but where was this class when we were going through hell? We’ve taken quite a few marriage classes and even led the Couples’ Ministry at church. I’m here to tell you – hubby and I have the real deal marriage. We are complete opposites and we experience our share of ups, downs, arguments, seasons of bliss, and even entertained divorce.

 I had a thought last night – marriage is like wisdom…it doesn’t come until you’ve experienced all the bumps, bruises, and battles of life and by that time, you’re on your way out of the land of the living. Now that I’ve experienced some of those bumps and bruises, I know the early years of our marriage were only a test of our will to survive the marriage. The middle years of marriage were a test of our patience and longsuffering. The surviving years (where we are now) are continual pop tests of trusting God. I pray our final years will be…years of contentment? Marriage gets easier, but the bumps keep coming. Hubby’s eleven-week class is an overdue tune-up for our marriage. No tune-up, no marriage….and that’s NO JOKE.

For those of you entertaining the thought of leaving your marriage or stuck in a season of staleness or suffering, don’t look at your husband’s face, your circumstances, or other couples faking the funk, but look to God. Unless you’re in an abusive relationship, stand strong through your seasons. It doesn’t matter what your situation is (I’ve experienced it all), God is real. Don’t walk out before you’re shown the measure of your man. Do your part and God will surely do His.  I’m a witness!

Guest Blogger

 I came across this post today and wanted to share. I love "keeping it real" writing.

 QueenBee and Company - On Being Married

It Takes Time

Marriage is a course in the school of life in which one never graduates from, but you sure do learn a lot about yourself and what love is REALLY all about.

I'm a witness, marriage does get better with time, but if you bail out early, you'll never see the better, but you'll definitely end up bitter.

Marriage is like a fine wine...it takes years to make a sweet juice and you sure can't rush it. It's a process - a looong process requiring a lot of patience and understanding. Marriage isn't for wimps!

Midlife Crisis

 By Sarah Mahoney- Good Housekeeping


Myth : Every guy has a midlife crisis - any day, your spouse will drive off in a new red sports car.
It's true that men sometimes do crazy things when they reach a certain age. You may feel like snickering at some of their attempts to regain their lost youth, like the balding executive who gets a spanking-new Harley - or a much younger girlfriend. Such drastic changes are fortunately far from commonplace outside the soaps, but psychologists say that most of us will go through a period of midlife reevaluation.


New rule: It's not a crisis - and it's not just for men.
Actually, this period of reexamination is a healthy part of development. As people move into their 40s, 50s, and beyond, their perspectives shift. Careers may plateau or take off in unexpected new directions. The first serious health problem may come along, or a parent may die and spur you to rethink your priorities. All of these are natural, inevitable transitions, and the best approach to dealing with them is to learn what you can and follow where they lead you. Fortunately, most people do: A recent poll by volunteermatch.org found that more than half of those over 55 are looking forward to starting new chapters in their lives.
More and more the phrase "midlife crisis" is being swapped for "reinvention"; all across America, you can hear men and women talking about their second acts. But rarely do they mean a full-scale life overhaul. More often they're contemplating ways to make more time for what they already love. Men who have done a little woodworking take on a deck redesign; women who have always wanted more time to get in shape sign up for their first triathlon.
Not only are these course corrections good for us as individuals, they also seem to invigorate our relationships. People in their 40s and 50s feel they have more control over their work, their finances, and their marriages, reports a multi-university study. Some crisis, huh? Instead of worrying about his issues, focus on whether you're ripe for reinvention yourself. Rediscover your priorities, and above all, don't feel you're being selfish by pursuing your passion: What's good for you is good for your marriage, too.