Forfeit The Last Word

 We can prevent many of our marriage battles if we prevent the battles in our mind first. A simple word or thoughtless act can trigger unnecessary retaliation. Oftentimes, a simple situation will settle itself in silence. Not vindictive silence, but silence allowing our spouse to process what he/she said and silence allowing ourselves to realize that we don't need to comment on everything. Every comment doesn't need a response.

When something is done or said that we don't like, our first thought is usually to defend ourselves or to share our point of view. If you've never tried it before, try saying absolutely nothing if a question is not asked. This is where the battle begins - self control and mind control. It's a battle to keep quiet - for some of us.

"No way will she/he get away with this!" "Who does she/he think they are?" ""Excuse me?" "No one is going to treat me this way!" "I deserve better."  These are just a few of the internal mind battles that quickly cross our mind before we open lips and discharge fighting words.

From my own experience of wanting the last word because I KNOW I'm right, not responding has worked like a charm for me. Kevin and I would battle over some of the most trivial issues.Our prideful personalities would get in the way and before we new it, we were in battle. Now, I control and conquer the battle in my mind FIRST - this is also spiritual warfare. Sometimes my mind will say be silent, but my loose lips will want to run away with hurtful words. This takes practice - a lot of practice if you have loose lips topped with a hot temper, BUT it can be done! I'm a witness.

So, why not try this if you haven't already. If you do and fail, I'm sure you'll have another opportunity. You may be surprised at your spouse's reaction to your silence. Remember, this isn't a vindictive silence, but a silence of humility to forfeit the last word.

To be continued