Excerpt from "Fascinating Womanhood":
Rules for Acceptance
1. Get rid of self righteous attitude
2. Accept him as part virtue, part fault
3.Give him his freedom to be himself
4. Don't try to change him
5. Don't use other men as shining examples.
6. Look to his better side.
7. Express your acceptance with words.
4 comments:
LaVender, I am so un happy in my marriage after 23 years. All he does is yell :( and it makes me and son un happy :(
Renee, I always remind myself there is nothing I can do about anyone's actions towards me, but I can definitely control my REactions. After 23 years, you probably host countless, unpleasant thoughts about your husband. Don't take his yelling personally. His yelling probably has very little to do with you or your son. It sounds like he is unhappy with himself.
At one point in my marriage, I had to mentally divorce my husband because I was unhappy with our marriage. This helped me not focus so much on what he was/wasn't doing. I had to train myself to concentrate on myself and make myself happy. After all, we shouldn't depend on anyone else to make us happy. We are in charge of our own happiness.
You are right, he is not a happy person.
Son,and I try to cheer him up, let him know I am there if he needs to talk,I Love him, I just do not like how he does us.
He walks around saying he hates how my mom use to do me (*Yelling at me all the time) But then he does it to.
He walks around saying how he never had his parents, (He was raised in a kids home) But I told him you have to make your own destiny,that there are alot of people raised in a kids how that do not let that get the better part of them.
I said your only as miserable as you want yourself to be.
I use to feel sorry for him but i do not any more because you set your own destiny.
I told him he does not know what he is losing, all the memorys with son, all the memories with me, I said who would you have if we left,he said no one, I said well then why do the 2 people on earth that Love you so much deserve all this .. He never answered :(
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